


Never Stop Loving- Shmi's Legacy

by SoulUntraveled



Series: Even If I Have to Give up the Light- Star Wars AU [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-04-12 10:21:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,334
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19130068
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoulUntraveled/pseuds/SoulUntraveled
Summary: Anakin's world is thrown upside down when he lost his mother, but her last words etch deep into his heart.the repercussions of a Shmi's last wish for her son will change the fate of a galaxy on the brink of war.(Star Wars Pre-Clone Wars AU)( one-shot turned Stand-Alone 3-shot short series)





	1. Chapter 1

Never Stop Loving

 

The flight from Naboo was a blur of fear, anxiety, and nightmares that left Jedi Padawan Anakin Skywalker’s head spinning and his chest churning, and not even the presence of Padme in the seat beside him had eased his suffering. He was barely aware of what he had been doing, his body on autopilot as the rest of him spazzed out and rebelled against itself.

 

It all started with those kriffing nightmares.

 

Anakin had confided in his master Obi-Wan about his dreams, the images of his mother dying horrifically and constantly. Obi-Wan hadn’t understood.

 

“Jedi don’t have attachments.” He had said. “You are just having dreams because of the fear from losing your attachment to Shmi.”

 

Anakin had seen red then. He had to walk away.

 

For once the young Padawan had wanted Obi-Wan to be right though, about them only being dreams though, even if his tacked on lesson was unnecessary and had enraged Anakin.

 

To Obi-Wan she was just Shmi, slave woman from Tatooine, but to Anakin she is Mom, his first love, and greatest beacon of light in his life. Shmi is the example Anakin strives to emulate, he wants with all his heart to make her proud and free her and the slaves.

 

Instead, he failed to protect her. Instead he had been a galaxy away playing Jedi while she had suffered. He is a terrible son.

 

He had landed his procured starship in the outskirts of his hometown and pressed the inhabitants for information, he even faced his old owner and after barely restraining to urge to bisect the floating Toydarian grub.

 

He discovered that Shmi had been freed by a moisture farmer and rushed to the Lars homestead and there he met his step-father, Cliegg Lars. His step-father was an older man and had bought and freed Shmi Skywalker and married her a few years prior. When she had been kidnapped Cliegg had tried to rescue her but ultimately failed. he had lost a leg for his attempt leaving him confined to a hover-chair with a broken body and broken heart.

 

The confused man had barely breathed a greeting when Anakin flew into his questions, when the old man had finally managed to gather himself when he realized he is speaking with Shmi’s beloved son and finally broke the news to his step-son.

 

Sand people, Sand people had Shmi. Sand people kidnapped his mother.

 

Anakin hadn’t heard Padme’s pleas to slow down and think this through. He had snatched a speeder had had vanished into the desert alone, leaving a distraught Padme at the Lars homestead staring helpless at his rapidly shrinking back.

 

Finding the Sand people’s village normally would be next to impossible in the empty expanse of swirling sand. This was no normal situation however, nor was Anakin your normal hunter, he is a Jedi, a very pissed off and angry Jedi looking for his mother.

 

He found the village atop a cliff face overlooking the Mos Espa plains just south of the actual spaceport proper. Anakin felt a bit of irony to discover that these very same raiders are very likely the same ones that had taken potshots at him during his pod-races as a child.

 

He leapt from the still flying speeder and descended onto the hapless desert dwelling barbarians, his lightsaber ignited and dancing in a whirlwind of viridescent light and ruthless fury. The tusken raiders put up a meager resistance up at best, their cobbled together long rifles spitting laser fire fitfully from their rusted barrels. Anakin flicked the bolts away effortlessly, redirecting the lasers back into the mob of attackers until he was close enough to cut into the squawking semi-humans with ease.

 

The stench of sizzling flesh and screech of dying sand people fell on deaf senses, Anakin’s entire being homed in the faint life inside a ramshackle tent at the back of the village, its light weakly pulsing and rapidly fading with every heartbeat.

 

His stride lengthened as fear gripped his heart. he barely registered a trio of spear wielding raiders charge him with their honking and squawking war cries. He simply stepped a bit to the left and split one creature down the middle with a jerk of his green ‘saber. The other two tusken raiders lost their heads with his follow up strike, their weapons shorn down the middle as if they were flimsiplast and all the while Anakin never broke his stride.

 

The surviving sand people squealed and bleated in terror at witnessing their warriors cut down as if they were an afterthought, the wiser of their number fled from the light wielding monster of death, their young and belongings clutched in their claws as they scrambled from the demon’s path.

 

Anakin ignored their cries of anger and fear and ducked into the filthy hide hovel with his heart in his throat. The sight that greeted him broke him.

 

She looked like a broken doll, abused, hurt, and discarded atop a pile of stolen rugs along with the rest of the pilfered loot on the hovel floor, her limbs askew and her beautiful face marred with a layer of bruises and cuts. Anakin barely saw this though; his deep blue eyes were on the rapidly growing pool of blood staining and spreading through the rest of the fabric his wonderful mother lay on.

 

 Shmi stirred, a sting of pain from the sleeve of harsh sunlight from Anakin parting the hovel’s curtain striking her closed eyes. A quiet breathy moan broke from her lips and her cold pale fingers trailed down the hole in her stomach and she lifted her trembling hand up towards the light, his name spilled softly from her blued lips like a prayer.

 

“Anakin…” Shmi whispered, delirious from blood loss and pain, but her eyes- eyes far wiser and deeper than his own- were blessedly clear and stronger than his ever were. “Oh Ani. My little boy…”

 

“M-Mom?” Anakin whimpered, his stony expression cracked, showing the terrified young man underneath the vengeful warrior.

 

His lightsaber fizzled out with a hiss and the padawan collapsed next to Shmi Skywalker, his legs weak and trembling. He took his mother’s outstretched hand in both of his own and interlaced their fingers. Shmi’s fingers were cold, far too cold.

 

Anakin’s throat worked to swallow, to force the words his needed to say out. He was partially successful but all that did was break his already crumbling walls.

 

“I’m sorry.” He choked out, his head bowed under the weight of his guilt and self-hatred until his forehead rested on his mother’s chest, heedless of her blood soaking his skin and hair. “I’m sorry Mom, I’m so s-sorry!”

 

“This is all my fault.” He choked, hot tears spilling freely from his watery blue eyes. “I should have stopped this. I promised to become a Jedi to save you and free all the slaves! I should have saved you! I-I…!”

 

“Ani.” Shmi's hoarse whisper had a power to it, one that belayed her otherwise fading body. Her strength drawn not from her failing flesh, but her heart and soul.

 

“You did save me.” She said, her cold, weak fingers gently squeezing his hand. “you saved me the day you were born.”

 

Anakin hiccupped into his chest in reply, drawing a breathy laugh from Shmi. Her light pulsed weakly, fading more and more as she spoke, as if using the last vestiges of her soul’s strength to reach her precious boy’s breaking heart.

 

“You are my hero Ani. You always… always have been. You don’t have to… be a Jedi for me to be proud of you…” Her breath came up wet and ragged, her voice fainter but not less resolute.

 

“Listen to me baby…” Shmi rasped, her hand trailing crimson trails down her son’s cheek and turned his head until his sky-blue eyes met her clear chestnut and green gaze.

 

“No matter what happens… no matter how much it hurts…” Shmi wiped a tear from Anakin’s cheek. “Promise me-“

 

“Never stop loving.”

 

\------------------------------

 

It was well into the evening when a lone speeder crested the dunes over the Lars Homestead, only one of Tatooine’s twin suns was still peaking over the sandy horizon, painting the sky in hazy hues of pink and orange.

 

The Lars family had retreated to their dinner table, Cliegg Lars urged Padme to eat with them to keep up her strength for his step-son’s return. Padme declined, preferring to stand vigil under the front door awning, just the thought of attempting to choke down a meal made her nauseous.

 

She was the first to see the dust cloud kicked up in the speeder’s wake, her heart leaping into her throat. Her usually refined and collected demeanor was thrown out the window in her frantic haste to drag Anakin’s step-family from their home.

 

She pulled Cliegg’s hover chair out of the doorway just as Anakin pulled the speeder to a stop, upon seeing him by himself astride the vehicle and the bloodstained cloth wrapped body cradled lovingly in his arms Padme’s hands covered her mouth in horror. Cliegg sat beside her, his face stricken and his shoulders shaking in silent tears as his step-son dismounted the speeder and stumbled over with his Shmi’s body clutched to his chest.

 

Anakin stood before Padme and his Step-father; his eyes red expression shattered. He worked his mouth and throat to say something, anything, but nothing came out except for a choked sob.

 

Owen Lars Anakin’s step-brother stepped forward to try to take Shmi’s body but Anakin refused to relinquish his hold. Padme gently pushed aside the older moisture farmer and instead of trying to take his mother’s body she brushed a hand across the petite bloodied handprint on Anakin’s face. Her gentle touch ghosting over where his mother last held him broke whatever control Anakin had left and he collapsed against her sobbing, his weight dragging them down to their knees in the sand with Shmi’s body cradled between them.

 

Anakin felt a shaking weight settle on one shoulder and he looked up to see Cliegg quietly crying, his hand on his step-son’s shoulder as he mourned Shmi’s loss. A few seconds later two more hands joined Cliegg’s Owen and his wife circled around their Jedi step-brother, their sorrow thrummed in the force like rain against a window. Anakin let go of his shields, his grief rolling over them all in the force. If his family’s sadness felt like a rainstorm, his was a tsunami. His power filled to air and rushed through his force bonds, slamming into Obi-wan Kenobi’s bond with the full force of a surging flood overwhelming a levy even from half a galaxy away and nearly knocking the Jedi Master off his feet.

 

“I wanted…” Anakin choked out. “I wanted to kill them.” He confessed. “I _needed_  to kill those Raiders. B-but…” He struggled to suck in a shuddering breath. “I didn’t.”

 

Anakin clutched at his mother’s body as a new wave of grief overtook him.

 

“She said I was her hero.” He sobbed. “And… and no matter what I don’t want to let her down.”

 

 

 

 

\-----------------------

A/N: Greetings!

Untraveled here. This is most likely the first time we have met so it is a pleasure to meet y’all!

 

Never Stop Loving is a small piece that I had been wanting to write for a short while and I had wanted to give homage to my own wonderful mother.

 

In my humble opinion Shmi is one of the unsung heroines of the Star Wars universe. In the few short scenes she has in the movies she is a believably human character with a heart of steely gold. Sure she couldn’t force push a Sith lord through a Transparisteel window or turn a battalion of battle droids into metal matte but she never once stopped smiling, even in her last moments.

 

Anakin was weaker in heart than his mother, and in the prequels his rage soured his soul and he forgot his mother’s lesson; Love is the most powerful force in the Universe.

 

In this AU Shmi reminded her son of this, and instead of slaughtering the monsters that ultimately killed his mother Anakin left them alive. A small but critical detail that changes everything in Anakin’s fall to the dark side.

 

This time he has taken Shmi’s words to heart and perhaps Anakin will remember to Never Stop Loving.

 

Who knows how this will change the galaxy?

 

-Untraveled


	2. Trust Me- Shmi's Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the Pyrrhic victory on Geonosis that resulted in the loss of his Apprentice's hand Obi-Wan notices that Anakin is beginning to act strangely. After demanding an Audience with the Jedi Council Obi-Wan finds Anakin sneaking in and out into the city at odd times of the day and night with no explanation. as the morning of the audience with the Jedi Council looms Obi-Wan finally confronts his Padawan, concerned with what is bothering him.

Trust me- Shmi’s Legacy

 

Obi-wan is a worrier by nature, even before he had been apprenticed to his master Qui-Gon he had been noted by his peers as someone prone to stressing over things perhaps a touch too much.

 

He had always claimed it was him being responsible, his padawan Anakin called him full of poodoo.

 

Obi-wan would perhaps had found it mildly amusing if Anakin himself weren’t the source of his worries.

 

A reckless rescue from a geonosian battle arena, a lightsaber-amputated hand, and over 184 slain Jedi later found Anakin Skywalker withdrawn and unusually distant from his master. Sure Obi-wan and Anakin don’t always get along and very rarely agree on anything but it concerned Kenobi greatly to see the boisterous padawan he had raised over the past 10 years so quiet and… introspective.

 

Anakin had lost his lightsaber in the ill-fated battle with Count Dooku not two days ago, his weapon destroyed beyond repair or salvage, much like his severed hand. The entire time he had his prosthetic fitted Obi-Wan had sat right next to him, a comforting hand on the young man’s shoulder. He could feel Anakin’s every jerk and gasp of pain both through his hand and their shared force-bond as the medical droid pricked at the cauterized stump with its array of needles to align and attach his muscles and nerves to his new metal hand.

 

The agony that rippled and leaked through his mental defenses staggered the Jedi Master though. Obi-wan was shocked at the stoic and unflinching manner Anakin dealt with the pain. The Jedi master had no illusions about why Anakin could ignore the debilitating stabbing throbs that shot up his severed limb. He had been a slave for his entire childhood and from what tiny snippets Obi-Wan managed to drag out of his padawan Anakin’s life had been anything but easy and pain free.

 

Still, the ghost pains Obi-Wan could feel leaking through Anakin’s defenses was enough to make him double over and gasp. It was eye opening for Obi-Wan to know that he was only feeling a portion of the agony that was wreaking havoc on his young padawan.

 

Anakin’s shields were never the most refined but they were generally solid and stalwart, they had to be, to other force-sensitives Anakin was _a lot._ Even when shielded his presence in the force could distract and even overwhelm the senses if those around him were untrained and unprepared. Anakin himself had plenty more to learn about his use of the force. He possessed immense power but he is still unrefined, his current mastery barely scratches the surface of his potential abilities.

 

When the medical droid was done with his work it wandered off without a sound, leaving Obi-Wan alone with his quiet and subdued Padawan running his flesh hand up and down his new metal forearm. As the lances of pain shooting through their force-bond faded Obi-Wan felt a surge of protectiveness kick him in the chest at the downcast young Jedi.

 

_Perhaps losing his hand is hitting him harder than I expected?_

 

It was worth asking at any rate. With the declaration of war with Count Dooku and the Separatists Obi-Wan needed Anakin to get over it and move on. It was for the best and his own good, right?

 

“Master,” Anakin spoke for the first time since Geonosis. It actually took Obi-Wan a couple of seconds the realize that it hadn’t been his imagination.

 

The Jedi Master rose his eyebrows gently, showing his padawan he was listening, curious as to what his mute apprentice had broken his silence to discuss. What the young man said next sent a wave of concern ripple through his chest.

 

“I would like an audience with the Jedi Council.” Anakin said. It hadn’t been a request, not really. The way he spoke carried a weight of finality Oni-Wan had heard from his own master, Qui-Gon Jinn so long ago.

 

Obi-Wan stayed quiet for a few moments deliberating with himself over Anakin’s demand. Throwing a bit of caution to the wind he decided to bite slug-bolt and ask.

 

“What is this about Anakin?”

 

The young man turned his piercing blue gaze away and his face hardened into the same pensive mask he had been wearing since the battle.

 

“You will find out at the audience with the council.” He replied shortly. Obi-Wan frowned.

 

“The Jedi Council isn’t at your beck and call young padawan. They don’t have time to entertain whatever trivial emotional toil you are wrestling with, especially with this blasted civil war.”

 

Obi-Wan had prepared himself for his padawan’s fiery and biting retort, but what he hadn’t been prepared for the resigned and bemused smirk creep sadly across the young man’s face.

 

“Okay.”

 

Obi-Wan stayed silent for a stretch just staring at his padawan and blinking dumbly waiting for the other shoe to drop but Anakin stayed quiet. Evidently he had already said his piece leaving the famous ‘Negotiator’ Master Kenobi flailing out in the wind in an odd state of shock.

 

“That’s it?” He asked before he could stop himself as his mouth opened and closed a couple of times, a bit stunned. Anakin looked over and took in his master’s startled blank expression and actually broke out in a genuine smile and a quiet snigger.

 

 “you are well Master?” Anakin chuckled. “Were you expecting I say something else?”

 

“Yes!” Obi-Wan exclaimed, waving one hand in the air in exasperation. “I was actually expecting you to blister and fight in the vain hopes I would give in.”

 

“All I got from that is that you just like to argue.” His padawan quipped instantly.

 

“Anakin…” Obi-Wan drew out his shit-eating grinning apprentice’s name in a warning tone but by the end it just turned into a sigh in defeat.

 

“Fine, I will talk with the council about giving you a short audience with us in a few days.”

 

Again Obi-Wan was shocked when instead of a surly quip or barbed comment Anakin’s face brightened into an exhausted but honest smile instead.

 

“Thank you Master, that will give me enough time to get everything in order.”

 

Obi-Wan didn’t like how Anakin phrased that but decided to let it go. He had no idea what was going to happen in a few days but whatever it was he just hoped Anakin would leave the temple standing afterward.

 

_Chosen one indeed…_ Ob-Wan snorted with a small fond shake of his head. _Master Jinn, this boy you saved will the death of me._

Out in the aethereal depths of the force Obi-Wan sensed a familiar and thoroughly amused smile back at him in response.

 

\-----------------------------

 

Two days past and Anakin had become something of a phantom enigma that drifted in and out of the Jedi Temple. Obi-Wan had tried to keep his strangely acting apprentice within his line of sight but the very second he would look away the boy would simply vanish! It was practically maddening! His apprentice would return to their shared quarters he would smell of the Coruscant lower levels at odd times in the day and night and he absolutely refused to explain where he had been.

 

“You’ll understand when I explain at the audience with the council Master.” Anakin had insisted the night before the audience. His expression grew a touch forlorn when he added almost sadly, “You just may not agree with it much…”

 

 Obi-Wan had given up pressing for information and instead scrutinized his sneaky Padawan’s slightly grimy garbs. The young man had traded his tan and brown Jedi robes for a more regal set of silver and black dress clothes reminiscent of a Naboo or Aldeeran noble or senator. Obi-Wan hadn’t even known Anakin had clothes like this.

 

Obi-Wan certainly didn’t have anything so extravagant in his wardrobe, he couldn’t afford it and he knew for a fact Anakin couldn’t, not on the shallow allowance the Jedi allocate for their Padawans. Besides, Anakin spent all of his credits on his motley collection of droids and speeders he thinks Obi-Wan doesn’t know about. Anakin has quite the reputation as a street racer, even among Coruscant’s lower crust of vagrants and adrenaline-junkies.

 

Not to mention the CorSec Police. Anakin is actually the official record holder for the longest rap-sheet for traffic violations of any Jedi _ever._ Even after 10 years of his shenanigans Obi-Wan wasn’t sure whether to be mortified or impressed.

 

After bidding his apprentice goodnight Obi-Wan went to bed but sleep escaped him as easily as patience eludes his Padawan. His mind roiled with anxiety for the coming meeting in the morning. He just wanted to get it over with so he and Anakin can focus on the war with the Separatists!

 

It seems this time _HE_ is the one short of patience tonight.

 

A soft clatter of glass being gently set on a kitchen countertop drifted through his sealed bedroom door. Obi-Wan glanced at the chrono on the wall.

 

_02:14 in the morning._ Obi-Wan huffed as more quiet little sounds of his Padawan’s nighttime scavenging trickled from their shared kitchen. _Anakin must be just as nervous as I am._ A wane smile pulled at the edges of the Jedi Master’s lips. _Usually I’m the one good at masking my anxiety._

_Anakin is growing up._

 

Obi-Wan blinked, surprised at the thought as if someone else had declared it instead of him, inside his own head no less. A well of nostalgia welled up in the tired Jedi so sudden and strong he barely managed to throw his mental shields up in their shared Force-bond.

 

After that embarrassing close call Obi-Wan delved back into his memories of his times with his Apprentice. They had accomplished much since Qui-Gon made him take in the distraught 9-year-old Skywalker. He became a master at age 24 with a Padawan half the age of any Master in recent memory with exactly none of the training of any other youngling his age. Those first years for the slave boy from Tatooine had been brutal and emotional for the both of them with short moments of triumph and growth intermittent between long strings of struggle, hardship and failure. Obi-Wan was again in wonder that they hadn’t killed each other by now.

 

The clatter and shuffle outside in the kitchen fell silent drawing Obi-Wan from his reminiscing and piqued his interest. Coming to a decision he slid from his uncomfortable bed, threw on his under robes, and quietly eased open his chamber door into the kitchen.

 

The floor-to-ceiling windows overlooking the never sleeping city were drawn open throwing the sparse living room and kitchen in Coruscant’s stifling red ambient glow. A tall and broad shouldered shadow leaned up against the wall brooding as he stared out over the trails of relentless traffic lanes crisscrossing the night sky, his mechanical hand reflected a pale red light as he absentmindedly fiddled with his padawan braid.

 

Anakin dropped his braid and ran his golden metal fingers through his short blonde-brown hair as if raking his troublesome thoughts off of his mind.

 

“Good evening Master.” Anakin greeted; his deep blue eyes almost glowing as he looked at him from the reflection of the window.

 

“Good morning Anakin.” He replied without skipping a beat.

 

“It’s morning already?”  Anakin said with a small amount of genuine surprise, their familiar exchange silently released the odd tension that had subtly stretched their bond tight as piano wire.

 

The Jedi Master quirked a tiny smile and glided over to his love seat beside the couch and settled in with a sigh, the thick brown leather that wrapped both pieces of furniture was worn and comfortably broken in, giving way beneath his weight without a sound. He glanced down at the table and noted the two steaming cups of tea sat on the low table in front of him, the nostalgic warmth that cradled in his chest spread.

 

_He felt I couldn’t sleep either._

 

Obi-Wan leaned forward and scooped up his waiting draft of tea and took a slow languished sip, savoring the earthy and slightly spicy concoction. He knew Anakin had a distinct dislike for the traditional brew, in fact he almost hated it as much as Obi-Wan liked it, often quoting his distaste with teasing him with his love for the “hot leaf juice”.  Despite that Anakin had taken the time to learn his favorite blend- Stewjon Flare-leaf from his home world- and just how he liked it brewed.

 

He suspected his clever padawan learned it mostly just to butter him up when he did something wrong or had a particularly difficult favor to ask. Suddenly Obi-Wan wondered would this time would be any different.

 

As he enjoyed his tea Anakin left the window and plopped down in the couch, his tan under robes bellowing out from his long limbs and bare feet. With a gentle flick of the force Anakin scooped his own waiting cup of tea into the air and into his hands. He had pulled a touch too hard and the ceramic cup clanked loudly against his new metal palm making him flinch back in surprise like a startled puppy.

 

Perhaps in a few months Obi-Wan would poke a little fun at his padawan’s amusing expression but for right now all he felt was a hook of guilt yank hard on his heart. If only he had been a better Master or even just a better Jedi than Anakin wouldn’t have lost his hand.

 

Why is it that his Padawan, even as foolish and reckless as he is, had to pay for his Master’s mistakes?

 

Obi-Wan took a long slow breath, inhaling the tea his Apprentice made for him. It pulled him from his quickly spiraling thoughts, he is tired both physically and mentally. His exhaustion is affecting his emotions, he knew this, so he sank into the force in a shallow meditation, drawing out his guilt and sorrow and let it bleed out into nothingness, carried away by the force.

 

“Concerned about the audience with the Jedi Council Master?” Anakin asked, sipping his own tea with a small grimace. He still didn’t like its taste but through prior experience he recognized its calming effects.

 

Obi-Wan eyed the young man for a moment and set his cup in his lap.

 

“I should be asking you the same thing.” He replied. “Are you sure you won’t speak to me first? If it’s about your knighthood I believe Master Mundi is proposing to skip the trials altogether in light of this war with the Separatists.”

 

Anakin swallowed his drink and rested back against the couch with a weary sigh, his pensive expression half shrouded in shadow and crimson city light.

 

“It’s not about knighthood Master.” He admitted, his prosthetic fingers trailing over his cup’s surface making a tiny ringing sound. “It’s about my future.”

 

Obi-Wan blinked, confused. “Is not that the same thing?”

 

“…” Anakin remained silent and looked towards the window, his metal fingers still making that soft ringing sound against the teacup. Suddenly the soft ringing stopped and Anakin broke the silence, his deepening voice thick with a meaning Obi-Wan couldn’t identify.

 

“Can you trust me Master? Support me during the audience tomorrow?” He said, still not meeting his Master’s eye.

 

Obi-Wan went quiet himself for a moment, taking in his Apprentice’s expression as he turned over Anakin’s plea in his mind.

 

“I… I don’t like not knowing what I’m supposed to be throwing my support behind Anakin.” Obi-Wan said carefully. Anakin shook his head in frustration, his force aura flared for second in irritation reminding Obi-Wan that Anakin was just as tired as he was. Still Obi-Wan was once again thrown off-kilter from what his Apprentice said next.

 

“I’m not asking you to support some crazy idea or plan of mine Master.” He bit out, turning his fiery blue gaze to Obi-Wan for the first time that night. He planted his metal hand over his heart.

 

“I’m asking you to trust me!”

 

Obi-Wan inhaled sharply, trying to decipher exactly what Anakin was asking of him. Any empty words of Jedi wisdom or common sense would simply make Anakin push him away, no matter how true they are. Anakin never led with his mind, but rather his heart, something the Jedi Order frowned upon.

 

It dawned on Obi-Wan that perhaps this wasn’t a teaching moment, but rather a crossroads. Whatever he said next would determine their relationship for possibly the rest of their lives.

 

“Okay I trust you Anakin.” Obi-Wan said, his voice barely above a whisper. “You have my support.” He hesitated for a moment and opened his force-bond with his Apprentice, urging the young man to feel his sincerity. “Both in the Audience and outside of it.”

 

Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s intense presence open up to their bond and weigh his honesty in those words, then he withdrew behind his defenses without a word, his eyes still on his Master’s face, mulling over his thoughts. Then, he tentatively freed himself to their fore-bond and spoke, his voice melodic with memory.

 

“Remember that time we went to Felucia when I was fifteen for that meditation retreat?”

 

A smile stretched unbidden but appreciated across Obi-Wan’s tired face as he opened his bond with his Apprentice and shared in the nostalgic memory. It felt like he had just passed a test of some kind, and seeing Anakin opening up further, trusting him made the older man’s smile brighten.

 

“I distinctly remember you crashing our speeder into a rock.” Obi-Wan deadpanned around his broad grin.

 

“-A stroke of bad luck.” Anakin huffed.

 

“-And that bounty hunter’s skiff in that coral tree.”

 

“-Pure coincidence.” Anakin refuted weakly, his eyes rolling. “The tree just was at the wrong place at the wrong time.”

 

“-Oh, and our own ship when we tried to get off world.” Obi-Wan grinned.

 

Anakin threw a hand up in the air helplessly. “How was I supposed to know they had an EMP bomb?” He pointed at his Master and declared, “That doesn’t count!”

 

Obi-Wan broke into peals of laughter that Anakin soon joined, their force-bond flaring with familiar warmth and light.

 

Oni-Wan and Anakin stayed in the living room bantering between themselves for the rest of the early morning as they reminisced on their past adventures. Obi-Wan’s worries were pushed back by the light of shared memories in years gone by.

 

Obi-Wan knew that no matter what happened during the Audience with the Jedi Council he would treasure these early morning hours spent just talking with his Padawan for the rest of his life.

 

 

\-----------------------

A/N: Surprise! Shmi’s Legacy no longer a one-shot!

 

I originally planned to write this little portion as a part of a separate AU but I felt it fit too perfectly with the events of Never Stop Loving and I couldn’t help myself.

 

I loved writing from Obi-Wan’s perspective, it is a vastly difference experience and one I thoroughly enjoyed. Obi-Wan is the model Jedi Master and even though he is as human as Anakin and holds a strong connection with his Padawan Obi-Wan is not as emotionally as the young Skywalker. He wants to do good in the galaxy and firmly believes in the Jedi way, though his faith in Anakin rivals even that devotion to the Jedi Order.

 

Obi-Wan is a very different person that Anakin, it shows in how he thinks and what he says and does. He doesn’t think like a normal human, but a Jedi, something Anakin struggles or outright refuses to do. Food for thought before you condemn the poor guy.

 

I wonder what Anakin has planned for the Audience with the Jedi Council that he won’t even share it with Obi-Wan?

 

Guess you’ll have to wait and see! Mwahahaha!

 

-Untraveled


	3. She is Worth My World- Shmi's Legacy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anakin arrives for his audience with the Jedi Council. Chaos ensues.

She is Worth my World- Shmi’s Legacy

 

Not getting any sleep the night before perhaps was not the best way to make a good impression for the Jedi Council. Even if every part of your dress is spit-shined and your outward appearance is immaculate your weariness is obvious in your force presence. Obi-Wan cradled his head in a hand for a moment staving off a small headache. It was just a small twinge behind his right temple but it was insistent, most like his Padawan.

 

The young Jedi Master straightened himself up in his council seat and swept the room with a curious eye. Only five Jedi Masters were actually present for the audience with Anakin Skywalker, the others were too embroiled in their campaigns against the Separatists. It had only been a week yet already the Jedi Order has been scattered to the stars like dust in the wind. The Temple had been feeling empty as of late, even during the middle of the day.

 

Master Yoda sat in his customary seat, his normally open expression closed off and sober. The ancient Jedi Master must still be feeling the loss of so many of their number on Geonosis. 184 Jedi dead in a single day and less than 30 walked away and not a single one of them whole. Masters, Knights, and Padawans all gone and one with the force.

 

Master Windu sat beside the wrinkled green Jedi, his signature scowl etched on his face and a thumb unconsciously trancing across his lightsaber hilt. The Jedi Battle master may be a hardened warrior but the events of the battle of Geonosis seemed to have taken its toll. His mood looked even worse than usual, something that may make Anakin’s time more difficult. Mace Windu doesn’t like Anakin, he had been the chief voice against allowing the “Chosen One” to train as a Jedi despite being far too old by Jedi standards to start training.

 

Master Mundi seemed unconcerned with the early morning summons. He looked to be meditating, his eyes were closed and his breathing- actually no, now that he looked closer the Cerean was simply asleep. No doubt worn out by his worried wives the night before.

 

It was still odd to Obi-Wan that a Jedi had been allowed to marry. He understood why though, there are a few other species that had a mandated mating policy that ensured the survival of a race but to have children and remain detached enough to still be Jedi…

 

A pair of saucy blue eyes gracing above a witty grin and a glittering Mandalorian ball gown swept through Obi-Wan’s thoughts, taking center stage for the first time in a while.

 

He shook those thoughts of _her_ from his mind. He had pushed her away and she had done the same. No matter how they felt about each other it just wasn’t possible they lived in two very different worlds. It was impossible for a Jedi to love a politician. Right?

 

The other two Jedi Masters present were Eeth Koth, a male Zabrack, the same species as Darth Maul only with yellow skin, and Shaak Ti, a Togruta Female with ornate blue and white striped montral (Horns) and leeku (head-tails) and deep orange-red skin. She was the only one present by hologram, being that she was placed in charge of training the new republic clone troopers being created on Kamino.

 

Obi-Wan swept his robe free of any non-existent dust and fidgeted in his chair. He nearly leapt out of his skin when Master Yoda’s wizened chirping voice piped up.

 

“Master Kenobi, nervous are we?” The small green Jedi asked. His tone was light as if slightly amused and knowing, as if he could read the human Jedi’s mind. Obi-Wan wouldn’t be surprised if that was actually the case.

 

“Anxious is perhaps a more accurate word Master.” He replied.

 

Master Windu rose a skeptical eyebrow. “Don’t you know why your Padawan has demanded this audience, Kenobi?”

 

Obi-Wan shook his head. “I’m afraid I’m almost as in the dark as you are. Anakin refused to speak unless it was in front of the council.”

 

“We are not at the beck and call of your darling apprentice Kenobi!” Mace Windu lectured, his nostrils flaring. Obi-Wan suppressed a sigh as the Jedi Battle master added, “Perhaps your attachment to the boy has clouded your judgement-“

 

For better or worse before Master Windu could continue to tear into him Anakin chose that moment to enter into the council chamber, interrupting the lecture and drawing Windu’s wrathful scowl.

 

Obi-Wan glanced at the chrono above the far wall and noticed for perhaps the first time Anakin was actually on time.

 

His Padawan was clad in his usual tan and brown Jedi robes, the folds were pressed and straight and his hair freshly cut short with his padawan braid laid over his left shoulder. The only thing out of place was his golden Mechno-hand and the two brunt pieces of his lightsaber held in the metal fingers. Under the silent gazes of the Jedi Masters Anakin strode with purpose to the center of the chamber and dipped into a respectful bow.

 

It was seriously weirding Obi-Wan out how Jedi-like and so unlike himself Anakin was acting.

 

_Who is this Jedi and what have you done with my Padawan?_

 

“Masters, Thank you for allowing me this audience.” Anakin said, his dead still bowed. A small smile fought to spread across Obi-Wan’s face.

 

_Never mind, I like this one._

 

Master Windu opened his mouth to reply, no doubt with a barbed tongue but thankfully Master Yoda beat him to the punch.

 

“Raise your head you may Padawan Skywalker.” Yoda bid with a small tap of his cane against his knee. Once Anakin rose his head to look the Grand Master in the eye Yoda arched his eyebrows in an openly discerning expression. “Curious to the reason you have asked to see us, I am.”

 

Obi-Wan caught the subtle glance Anakin threw his way and the near imperceptible tightening of  his Mechno-hand’s grip of his destroyed lightsaber. Though his face betrayed nothing but calm and confidence Obi-Wan felt a shaking ripple through their Force-bond like a rattling breath through petrified lungs.

On the inside Anakin was so nervous it eclipsed Obi-Wan’s own. He now is just realizing just how important last night’s conversation was to Anakin. His Padawan is right now leaning heavily against Obi-Wan’s promise of support.

 

_Can you trust me Master?_

 

Obi-Wan sent out a pulse of reassurance across their Force-Bond and Anakin’s death grip on his shorn lightsaber eased, the servos in his fingers loosening with a tinny groan of relief.

 

Anakin took a deep breath to center himself and Obi-Wan saw a familiar reckless light shining in his deep blue eyes.

 

“I’m getting Married.”

 

Obi-Wan blinked, as did the other Jedi Masters, even Yoda looked thrown by Anakin’s declaration.

 

_I suppose not even Yoda could have sensed that plot twist._

 

Unfortunately Master Windu was the first to recover his composure.

 

“What did you just say Padawan?” Windu asked, is voice dipping into a growling baritone.

 

A wave of vindicated amusement rolled from Anakin and a small challenging grin spread across his face.

 

“I said I’m getting married Master Windu.” Anakin repeated simply with a shrug, all sense of is previously flawless decorum promptly thrown out the window. Anakin could never back down from a challenge and Mace Windu happened to provide that.

 

“Padawan Skywalker,” Master Windu’s growl darkened as did his scowl. “since the moment we have allowed you to step into our temple we have allowed you countless exceptions.”

 

Though Obi-Wan silently agreed with Master Windu so far the way the Battle master said these things irked him. Mace Windu seemed to be almost _blaming_ Anakin for the circumstances of his admittance to the Jedi Order.

 

Though he knew it not to be true Obi-Wan felt Master Windu was inadvertently attacking his fallen Master Qui-Gon Jinn. He didn’t like that one bit. He had to fight to center himself as Master Windu began to drag out fault after fault back into the light.

 

“We have allowed you to train as a Jedi despite you being far too old and the darkness that resides in your heart. We have allowed you to remain in the order despite your REPEATED transgressions and violations of the Jedi Code as well as the law.” Mace Windu lifted a hand and extended a finger for each violation.

 

“Illegal modification of Speeder craft, underaged driving, street racing, betting on said street racing-“

 

“-In my defense I was left unsupervised-“

 

“SILENCE PADAWAN!” Master Windu barked. “You will not interrupt me again.” He added in a dangerous rumble.

 

Obi-Wan held his breath but Anakin miraculously bit back a scathing remark of his own and allowed Master Windu to say his piece.

 

“We have allowed you exceptions time and time again, what makes you think we will allow you this blatant violation of the Jedi Code because of your flimsy corrupting _attachment_?”

 

Thunderous rage stormed over Anakin’s expression and white hot righteous fury surged from him through the force. Obi-Wan flinched as if he had been burned, their force-bond exposing him to the unfiltered heat of his Padawan’s outrage.

 

“Perhaps I hadn’t made myself clear.” In stark contrast to the inferno of anger roiling inside him Anakin’s voice was cold and hard as tempered durasteel. The young man seemed to have skipped from blistered shouting straight to frigid and calm fury.

 

Anakin advanced a step toward the glowering Jedi Battle Master and thrust a finger in his direction causing the already twitchy Jedi Master to grasp his lightsaber on reflex. For one horrifying second Obi-Wan thought Master Windu was about to jump to his feet and strike his Apprentice down where he stood, somehow though Master Windu stayed his hand though his face hardened to stone as Anakin continued to speak, his voice powerful and his tone final.

 

“The most beautiful creature in the galaxy is outside waiting on me. No matter what happens in this chamber, no matter what you say, when I walk out of that door she and I are going to get married.” Anakin’s blue eyes sharpened as his own voice deepened into a growl. “I don’t need nor want your approval on this matter. I’m not asking for permission. I stated a fact.”

 

Obi-Wan looked to the rest of the council, noting the other Jedi Masters had stayed quiet as they watched the exchange, their reactions to his Padawan’s statement varied. Yoda’s eyes narrowed to a pensive squint as he absorbed Anakin’s speech and the vibrations shaking through the force. Master Mundi held an understanding though pitying expression, as if he could sympathize with what Anakin felt but believed his attachment to his beloved was his downfall. Eeth Koth looked to be scrutinizing Anakin like he was observing him for the first time and trying to dissect his words like some puzzle.

 

 Shaak Ti’s holographic face on the other hand showed nothing but bewilderment. She had no idea what was going on and she felt way out of her depth since Anakin had started the audience. The poor woman. Though truth be told Obi-Wan was very much in the same boat with her clutching to the mast just trying to keep afloat through this stormy confrontation.

 

“You know Padawan Skywalker,” Mace Windu said, his teeth bared in a restrained snarl. “Before you opened your mouth I was considering knighting you.”

 

Obi-Wan was surprised by Master Windu’s words and watched his Padawan closely for his reaction. It had been Anakin’s dream to become a Jedi knight since Qui-Gon had freed the boy. He had expected some kind of surprise or conflict from Anakin didn’t react at all, but both his hard expression and through their shared force-bond.

 

“To think of all we have given you Padawan.” Master Windu continued, settling back in his chair and folding his arms. “When you were brought to us you had nothing. We have given you a home, food, training, education.”

 

Mace Windu paused as if considering his words. “We gave you a life. Yet, this is how you repay us?”

 

Anakin’s head dipped slightly and his shoulders shook. At first Obi-Wan felt distraught. It looked as if his apprentice was fighting to keep tears of shame from his face, but then Anakin threw his head back.

 

Anakin burst out in laughter.

 

“You gave me a life, yes.” He chortled, now instead of a scowl Master Windu’s frown was one of confusion. Suddenly Anakin’s smile hardened into a disguised frown.

 

“To think you would use the same words my owner Watto said to me and my mother when I was a child.” He sneered at a startled Windu. This got a reaction out of Master Yoda and a blink of surprise from Master Koth.

 

“You do not own me Master Windu.” Anakin continued. He glanced at Obi-Wan to gauge his expression. Whatever he saw in his teacher’s face must have satisfied him because when he turned his eyes back to the dumbstruck Jedi Battle Master his sneer lost some of its edge and Obi-Wan felt his anger relax.

 

“1,893,742.” Anakin crossed his arms to mirror Mace Windu and quirked an eyebrow. “not counting official travel expenses that is how much I have cost the Jedi Order since I joined you ten years ago.”

 

Obi-Wan once again found himself thrown off kilter. He had no idea that Anakin had been keeping track of something like that. Though now that he thought about it his Padawan had always asked the strangest questions about everything they used and did early on in his training as a Jedi. Obi-Wan had assumed Anakin had just been curious but was he saying he had actually been keeping track of every credit he used down to the cent?

 

“I was born into slavery.” Anakin explained. “My life had always had a price tag on it. I was freed by Master Jinn in a wager valued in what would amount to a pallet of spare ship parts. I would be foolish when I was just freed to allow myself to be bought or indebted to another.” Anakin narrowed his eyes at Mace Windu. “Just like you had just attempted to use against me Master Windu.”  

 

“I street raced for money. I bet on myself and saved every credit I could hide away. Still though, it wasn’t enough so yesterday I sold the last of my speeders and droid projects.”

 

Anakin spread his arms out in a proud gesture and grinned hollowly. “Just this morning as of twenty minutes ago I paid off every credit to my expenses to the Jedi Temple. I am once again a free man.”

 

Anakin dropped his arms and his grin faded. “And as a free man I can choose whatever I want to do with my life, so-“

 

He flicked his Mechno hand and the two shorn pieces of his destroyed lightsaber clattered to the center of the chamber floor.

 

“I quit.”

 

 

 

 

\------------------------------------

As Anakin descended the 750 steps of the Jedi Temple for what was very likely the last time he turned his eyes to the glorious sunrise peaking between the city’s skyscraper studded horizon.

 

Though he knew the sunrise looked much like it always had everyday this time he saw it differently. It was the beginning of his new life. A life without the Jedi Order.

 

Though He felt no regret in his choice He had still wished that maybe…

 

“Anakin!” A familiar shout came from behind him in a voice that filled him both with warmth and guilt. “Anakin wait! Please! I need to talk with you!”

 

Anakin halted his descent and turned back to see his Master -Former Master- Obi-Wan standing at the stop of the stairs, his chest heaving and his face sweaty from chasing after him.

 

Anakin couldn’t help it; a fond smile broke out over his face. He reversed his course and headed back up to the crest of the 750 steps and stood before his teacher. He didn’t know what he was going to say now that he and Obi-Wan were alone and everything had been dragged out into the light. Apparently Obi-Wan had no idea either, but Anakin was alright with that. It was also funny to see the famous “Negotiator” at a loss for words.

 

Anakin decided to make the first move and plopped down on the steps and patted the spot next to him.

 

“Anakin, you can’t _sit_ on the 750 steps.” Obi-Wan lectured on pure reflex. He stiffened at realizing his mistake but Anakin just chuckled and patted the spot again, insistent.

 

“I can and I will. And so can you Master.” Anakin realized his own slip of the tongue but let it go. Hearing him say that seemed to put Obi-Wan a bit more at ease and to Anakin’s pleasant surprise actually sat down on the steps, albeit after daintily dusting off the stone and primly setting his dress robes properly around his lap as if he was still in the council chamber.

 

They shared a quiet moment just allowing each other’s familiar presences to relax the other. Gradually their mental defenses lowered and their Force-bond flickered to life, singing with bittersweet memories and dancing with Obi-Wan’s light and Anakin’s jaded and intense will.

 

When he felt ready Anakin was the first to break the silence, his voice a hoarse whisper.

 

“My mother died.”

 

Shocked silence seized Obi-Wan and Anakin felt it in their Force-bond.

 

Obi-Wan felt as if his heart had been gut-checked by Rancor. Black tendrils of guilt wrenched his throat shut.

 

Anakin had told him of his dreams of his mother dying horribly and repeatedly several weeks ago. He had dismissed his Padawan’s fears as a moment of weakness because of his lingering attachments. They had just been dreams, right?

 

Anakin’s gaze drifted to Obi-Wan, his eyes clouded in fresh grief as he began his tale.

 

“I disobeyed you Master. Before you had been captured on Geonosis you commanded me to stay on Naboo and protect Pad- Senator Amidala.” Anakin rubbed his tired eyes with his remaining flesh hand but did nothing to stem the tears that rolled down his cheek.

 

“Those nightmares of Mom dying continued and only got worse until one night I felt Mom reach out to me in my dream and scream my name. I-I decided to go, but I didn’t want to disobey you until Padme offered to come with me so I could see Mom and still protect her. But when we a-arrived…”

 

Anakin’s voice squeaked, he had to clear his throat. He flashed a weak and watery smile at Obi-Wan, this being more a confession to his Master than anything else.

 

“I have a step-father. And-and a step-brother and sister. They are moisture farmers, good, respectable people. Mom had been married for six years and had found freedom and I had no idea. I…I wasn’t there.”

 

Anakin blinked hard and let out a shaky resigned sigh.

 

“It happened little over a month ago. Mom had been gathering mushrooms when a band of Tusken Raider kidnapped her. That’s when I began having those horrible dreams.”

 

Unconsciously Anakin’s flesh hand drifted over his golden mechanical hand, his thumb pricking at the exposed servo muscles in his wrist as he relived that terrible day.

 

“I found her in a Tusken Raider camp discarded like trash in a hovel. I cut my way through to try and rescue her but I-“ He sobbed and cupped his human hand to his mouth. Obi-Wan was overwhelmed in the sorrow and agony flooding through their force-bond from his former Padawan. He felt tears of his own spill from his eyes as he hesitantly rested a hand comfortingly on Anakin’s heaving shoulders.

 

“-Mom died in my arms.” Anakin managed to choke out. He wrestled for control over himself and all the while Obi-Wan sat there patiently. Anakin drew from the calm and honest sorrow and guilt that rolled from his teacher. He wished he could sink into the force and let all his pain bleed away like Obi-Wan could. His former master was so much stronger than him and he could only hope to someday be almost as strong as him.

 

Anakin let out a long shaking breath and swallowed his tears. He could mourn later. He wiped his eyes and turned back to Obi-Wan.

 

“I got to say goodbye to her.” He said. “All I could do was beg for her forgiveness for not being there for her and for being a horrible son. You know what she did?” He chuckled weakly. “She laughed at me.”

 

Obi-Wan snorted in amusement, easily believing that the mother of his snarky Padawan was every bit as sharp-witted and teasing as her son.

 

“Mom told me she was proud of me.” Anakin continued, his eyes drifting to the sunrise throwing beams of reddish light across the Jedi temple. “She told me I was her hero and that I don’t have to be a Jedi to make her proud. She also made me promise her something.”

 

“She told me never to stop loving, no matter how much it hurt.” Anakin sighed. “So I intend to do just that. But I can’t be a Jedi and love how I need to. So I had a choice to make and I chose a life without the Jedi Order.”

 

“But… Anakin.” Pain overcame Obi-Wan’s face and Anakin crooked a grin and patted his teacher’s knee.

 

“Master, I said a life without the Jedi Order, but I never said a life with you. I do love you.” Obi-Wan blinked, startled at Anakin’s blunt admission. Anakin’s grin brightened. “I still want you in my life. You will always have a place with me. You are part of my family. How does brother Obi sound?”

 

Obi-Wan’s breath hitched and he looked away but eventually he managed to retort albeit with a strained chuckle as he recalled an old nickname a certain Mandalorian senator had once called him. “I always preferred Ben myself.”

 

Anakin laughed and Obi-Wan cracked a smile as hope returned to his eyes.

 

Perhaps all was not as lost as Obi-Wan had thought.

 

“So tell me Anakin,” Obi-Wan began, a sudden surge of curiosity urging him to ask. “Do you think Padme is worth the risk of leaving the Jedi Order behind? What if you two don’t work out?”

 

Anakin cracked a smile, not at all surprised that Obi-Wan knew which girl he intended to marry. “Leaving the Jedi Order was for me Master. I don’t think I could be happy not being able to love, but Padme?” Anakin laughed brightly.

 

“She is worth my whole world.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

\---------------------------------

A/N: I bet y’all didn’t see this plot twist coming!

 

I feel that most of the pain and drama in Star Wars could have been avoided if Anakin, Obi-Wan, Padme, and the rest of the characters had only talked to each other rather than just locked everything inside and let it stew like a bunch of angsty tweens. Just admitting that you are not okay is more than half the battle and that alone would have steered Anakin clear from all of those years of suffering.

 

I wonder, now with everything out in the open and Anakin no longer a Jedi what will happen next?

 

I hope y’all enjoyed Shmi’s Legacy as much as I did writing it. I relished the challenge with writing from Obi-Wan and Anakin’s points of view throughout this project. I intend to continue this series, Shmi’s Legacy being part 1 of a planned trilogy AU.

 

Be on the look out for part 2 of “Even If I Have To Give Up The Light”

 

See y’all soon!

 

-Untraveled


End file.
